Completion For Completions Sake

I recently discovered that I had drafted this blog entry but I never got around to posting it, so for those of you keen to know the rest of the story, I encourage you to press on.

After Washington I headed back to New York the night before I was meant to fly back home. It actually turned out to be my best night there. I got back at about 5pm and headed into Times Square with the eye for seeing a show or something interesting. I ended up going to a little comedy club just off Broadway. It was a mix of professionals and amateurs, even the waitress got up and entertained us with her Texan style observational comedy. The pros were really good, the millage varied with the amateurs, but two Long Island Ice Teas smoothed over the rough patches.

After the comedy show I headed over to Rockerfella Plazza and bought myself a ticket to the observation deck. It was a pretty spectacular view at night. Blogging about it is really a waste of time, just check out the photos on my Facebook.

The next morning I caught the subway to JFK airport for my 12 midday flight. I left at 8:40am and two hours and twenty minutes later I arrived just in time for check in at 11am.

As I waited for take off on the plane I realized that the elderly couple in front of me were also Australian. A stewardess was placing a rather large suitcase in one of the overhead lockers for another passenger. I laughed to myself when the couple pulled her aside and said "He'd never get away with that back home".

When I got to Los Angles I realized that I seemed to have developed an allergic reaction to a new pair of jeans I had bought a few days earlier in Philly. I reading my blog about a rash I developed on a international flight is off putting, you'll have some appreciation for how I felt for the following 18 hours.

When I got back to Bris Vegas International Airport I was pretty glad to be home(ish). The final leg back home to Townsville was typical. Regular folks seemed to disappear and suddenly I was surrounded by bogans and hick folk.

Coming back to Townsville was nostalgic at first. I met up with Garth and Zane for drinks at Cactus Jacks the day after I got back. I did my best to segue into a travel story even when it didn't appear relevant because I know they like that sort of thing.

Mr Xabregas Goes To Washington...

New York was really awesome. Unexpectedly it was really safe no matter where you went. Nothing like those 80's films. I guess Giuliani did some good after all. The subway system is probably the best in the world, even better then London's. I've realised that I tend to judge a city primarily based on it's public transport. I guess it just pisses me off when I find it hard to get around a place.

My first day I went to the Rockefeller Center where the NBC studio's are. That was a small thrill due to my nerdy love of 30 Rock. I booked a ticket to do the NBC studio tour which was kind of interesting. I didn't really get to see as much as I thought I, but I got to see the Conan O'Brien set which is surprisingly small. Actually we were told that everything on the set, like the couches and the desk, are purposely built smaller so that visiting celebrities look bigger. Obviously they had Tom Cruise in mind.

I then checked out Times Square which is pretty cool but is ultimately just a lot of lights and really bright advertisements. Sometime in the afternoon Simon gave me a call (he was staying at a different hostel to me and had headed off to New York a few days earlier). He suggested that we meet up at the World Trade Center site which turned out to be a really bad idea because the place was massive and was full of people. The fact that Simon didn't have a working mobile phone also complicated matters and we never ended up finding each other.

After I gave up looking for Simon I realised I was unexpectedly doing the Nicholas Cage: National Treasure tour of New York. I found myself at the Trinity Church at the beginning of Wall Street, that was the site of buried treasure in the aforementioned movie. There was a church service on at the time so this hindered my own attempts at hunting for treasure.

As the day wore on, I walked uptown to Moby's vegan restaurant, Teany's. I realised it was called Teany's because it was laterally the size of my bedroom. Moby wasn't there but I had dinner anyway. I had a vegan Chicken BLT (a contradiction in terms surely) , which tasted nothing like chicken but was still really good.

Over the next couple of days I also checked out a lot of other shit that I can only be bothered writing about in cryptic point form:

• Museum of Natural History: The Squid and The Whale, Night at The Museum.
• The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
• Madison Square Garden to watch The Verve play: Bittersweet Symphony payed off after 90 minutes of psychedelic posturing.
• Central Park

Probably the weirdest experience occurred on Sunday night when they played Cloverfield at the hostel in their theatre (they had a big projector). I thought it must be kind of surreal if you're a New Yorker to see your city trashed and pulverised in all those Hollywood films. It's kind of strange when you've actually been to the places that they are destroying on screen.

Anyway, I originally planned to stay in New York until my flight back to Australia. That plan was kicked in the rear when I found out that pretty much all the cheap accommodation in New York had been booked up for my final weekend here due to some sort of cycling event. So I decided to go on to a road trip for a few days to Philadelphia and Washington Dance City.

Philly is notable for being the city where the Deceleration of Independence was signed and it's also the location of the Liberty Bell. The Liberty Bell is kind of like the Mona Lisa of bells. It's small and ultimately disappointing. Everyone's initial reaction is "I thought it was bigger".

Philadelphia is also where the Rocky movies were set. I wouldn't mention this if it didn't seem to be such a big deal to the tourism industry in Philly. I walked into a gift shop near the tourist information centre and found that Rocky T-shirts were more abundant then Benjamin Franklin figurines.

*CAUTION RANT*

I cringed every time I read anything that said Benjamin Franklin "invented" electricity. Get it right people! He discovered electricity, he didn't invent it! If he could summon fireballs of electrons with his bare hands fighting the British probably would have been a lot easier.

*END RANT*

I met some cool people at the hostel in Philly despite the fact that the place was run by a pair of fem-Nazi's who looked like the frumpy one out of Scobby Doo. The place had a lock out between 10:30am and 4:30pm. I arrived at 3pm and had to sit around for an hour and a half before I could dump my stuff. I realised I may not have finished ranting...

Anyhow, my highlight of Philadelphia was making my way to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which is where Sylvester Stallone ran up the steps in the famous Rocky montage. It seems like every wanker and his dog was running up the steps and doing the Rocky thing so I joined in. I got a couple of photos.

I realized it must really piss off the people who work at the museum that all the people who loiter outside are only there to do the Rocky jog instead of visiting the museum. Did I mention there is a bronze statue of Rocky out the front?

After Philladelphia I went to Washington D.C. The monuments are aces.

Where in the world is James Xabregas?

Since my last post far too much has happened. I'm in New York now. I will be home in 10 days. Kind of looking forward to it.

San Diego was actually quite cool. I was ready to write off California as good for nothing before I got to San Diego. On the bus trip from Vegas, a fat smelly homeless guy kept running up and down the isle and getting in everyone's face. This was pretty much my last straw with the State of California. I was ready to go to Arnie's mansion and punch his dog. But San Diego turned out to be the complete antithesis of Los Angeles. It was trendy, laid back and easy to get around. And it wasn't sleazy the wasy San Francisco was. Stay classy San Diego.

Mexico was kind of crazy. I loved it. You can get Carona's for 50 cents. If you pay more then $9 for a bottle of tequila you've paid too much and you can get a fish bowl Margarita for five bucks. I flew into Puerto Vallarta with Simon and we caught a taxi to our hostel. I looked for a seat belt and when I couldn't find one I realised that I was in a slightly different world.

Our reasoning for going to Mexico was to meet up with a bunch of friends we knew from Big White. Well actually, the real reason was because I was chasing a girl.

James Xabregas: International Stalker.

I'll spoil the ending. Nothing happened. To the best of my reasoning I think I was cock blocked by another girl. Is that even possible? I don't know. I guess it should really be called beaver blocking. Dam*.

The first couple of days we hung out in Puerto Vallarta and ate plenty of tacos. The food in Mexico is brilliant. All attempts to recreate Mexican food outside of the country don't do it justice. We also met a couple of others staying at the hostel who were involved in some sort of volunteer work and travel program. There was a Dutch and a German guy, Alex and Dan, who were pretty cool. Alex kept insisting that I needed to check out a beach about 2 hours south of Cancun that was tourist free. It sounded cool but it was on the other side of the country. There was also a helpful American girl named Kelly who seemed to know a crap load about Mexico. At some point we all went down to Starbucks and had a frappacino. Did I mention PV is a tourist trap?

After two days a couple from the group had shooted off back to reality, and our possy was then comprised of 6 girls to 2 guys (however I have grave doubts over Simon's sexuality after witnessing his dance moves so the ratio could accurately be described as 7:1).

Question: If a man is in Mexico and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Answer: Yes.

It was quickly decided that Puerto Vallarta was boring and we went on an unplanned road trip. I had gotten kind of used to researching everything I needed to know about transportation and accommodation on the Interweb but it turns on the Mexican business aren't that turned on that yet. So at 3 o'clock in the afternoon one day we packed up all our stuff and the eight of us jumped onto a bus without any idea of where we were going, how we were getting there or where we were going to stay.

We ended up in Manzanillo, a big city on the coast, about five hours south of Puerto Vallarta. We actually over shot our mark. We were trying to get to a little beach town called Melaque. We ended up there the next day. It was quite a nice spot. It was a very small town of a couple of thousand residents. We got a bungalow on the beach for $10 a person.

Melaque was the type of place Mexican tourists visited. It was pretty much a prefect way to experience Mexico. For the next 5 days we drank Carona's and Tequila on the beach.

Simon left Mexico to head back home before I did, so when I got on the bus to go back to PV I was on my own. It was kind of sad to leave the group because I realised I was probably never going to these people again. I fell asleep while the bus played Cold Mountain.

About 4 hours into the trip, the bus was stopped by border police (there are police at all the state boarders). I was still half asleep so it scarred the shit out of me when a bunch of cops with sub machine guns boarded the bus and started ripping panels off the bus ceiling looking for drugs. They searched everybody's bags. Then they picked on me and a Dutch woman to go through our checked luggage under the bus. While we were doing that, one of the other cops was going through the stuff we had carried onto the bus. They completely mugged the Dutch woman. They took all her money. From what she told me later I think she had a fairly large amount of cash. I luckily got away without having anything taken. I kept all my valuables in my pocket. By this point I only had $80 in cash anyway so it probably wouldn't have mattered much anyhow. I figured they probably didn't want to steal my sandwich.

When I returned to Puerto Vallarta I found out that Alex, the Dutch guy that we had meet at the hostel, had jumped off the fourth story balcony and killed himself the day we left for Manzanillo. I instantly thought that was exactly like the movie The Beach and realised that I am a complete nerd.

I ended up sharing a taxi with Dan, Alex's friend, to airport. He had been trying to get a flight back for the last two days but they kept cancelling it on him. He was flying back home so he could meet Alex's parents and attend the funeral.

Dan told me the whole story while we waited for a respective flights. He was pretty much distraught. Alex died in his arms while the ambulance officer was making a cup of coffee, no joke. He showed me a copy of the newspaper which had printed the police photos of the scene. Surprise surprise, it's not hard to bribe the cops in Mexico. Dan was kind of pissed off because one of the papers had printed his full name and home address and had also said that the death was a murder and that he was the killer.

After a long silence I turned the conversation and tried to get his mind off the topic. I found out that Dan was a sound engineer for Ramstien. Apparently they use a team of about 100 engineers for their live shows. Crazy.

Eventaully we parted and said goodbye and I got on my plane to New York City.

*Spot the bad pun.

The week in review

The last week has been hectic so I haven't really had a chance for an update lately. In the mean time I've been to San Francisco, Yosemite Park, Las Vegas and The Grand Canyon. I've only got a couple of minutes to lay this all down so I'll come back latter and give you a better account of my adventures.

Las Vegas smells like the fabric conditioner that they use on my car after I've taken it for a service. I believe Showgirls to be an accurate portrayal of Las Vegas in the 90's. I saw a show called The Blue Man Group which was awesome. It's hard to explain but if a Daft Punk video clip was a 2 hour stage show then this would be it. The Grand Canyon would be pretty nice if it wasn't filled with fucking Japanese tourists and the bastard Indians weren't trying to take you for a ride. Think Cairns except desolate and shittier. San Francisco is a really beautiful city marred by Oriental "massage parlours" every 100 meters and a plague of homelessness. I cycled across the Golden Gate bridge (you can hire bikes) and I randomly met a cool German girl who was staying at the same hostel as me in the process. Yosemite National Park is really awesome. I went there on a day trip bus tour and I really wish I had done an overnight stay.

I'm going to San Diego tomorrow.

Portland: Land of Ports

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Seattle to Portland

On my second day at Seattle we met up with Caleb and Rob, to Aussie guys I knew from Big White who came down to Seattle so they could get a cheaper flight to New York.

They went and checked out the Space Needle (that big tower in all the photos of Seattle) and all the other things Simon and I had done the day before. We went walking up to Capitol Hill. Our destination was Volunteer Park where Bruce Lee is purportedly buried. On the way we found a lot of cool stores with old and random books and just the most random things that I want to buy and horde. If I had a magical suitcase that could weigh nothing no matter how much I put into it, I would probably go to town on my credit card.

We kept walking up to the point where I realised that we were well and truly lost. After some nifty directions from some helpful locals we eventually found the cemetery. When we got there it began to rain, as it usually does in Seattle. I realised that the place was an Asian cemetery and as such one in four of the people buried there were named Lee. Simon wanted to press ahead for the search but by this point I was cold and wet and well over Simon's search for some dead dude's grave. I also realised quite quickly that Simon's general sense of direction sucks the balls so I took charge and we eventually found a bus stop that took us about 2 blocks from our door.

That night we hung out with Caleb and Rob, and we watched a few episodes of Flight of the Conchords on Caleb's laptop.

The next day we all went down to the Pike Place Market across the road from the hostel. It was a pretty cool market. There was a rib cook off going on and it smelt pretty good. I also got my photo taken outside of the very first Starbucks (there really is one on every corner). We then went down to the Seattle Aquarium where I got some fun photos, which I someday hope to post up on the Ineterweb.

The next day, Simon and I parted ways with Caleb and Rob and we caught our bus to Portland. About 20 minutes into the trip the bus got rear ended by a mini-van and we were delayed by an hour and a half while we waited for the cops. I'm not sure what the big deal was because when I saw the damage it was only a fender bender, but the bus driver was fretting.

We finally arrived in Portland at abut 4:30pm. Simon wanted to walk to the hostel with our backpacks despite the fact we had no idea where we were or where the hostel was. I put I stop to his foolish notions and we caught a taxi for five dollars.

Road Trip

On Thursday I left Big White once and for all and said goodbye to all the friends I had made there. The good news is that I'm meeting up with about a dozen of them down in Pourta Vallarta in Mexico in three weeks time.

I'm working my way down the west coast with Simon, an English guy I met at Big White. We're pretty much traveling together for the next month. On Thursday morning we caught the shopping shuttle from Big White down to Kelowna and got dropped off at the Greyhound bus station. The ticket woman at Greyhound was a real cunt. I won't go into details.

The bus trip to Seattle was 14 hours. I reckon long haul bus trips are worse then flights. You can't sleep very well on a bus and there's always that one lone drifter sitting at the back of the bus, clutching a bottle in a brown paper bag.

Simon and I finally got to Seattle at 11pm. We checked into the Green Tortoise Hostel, which seems to be a really good hostel. They have free internet access and free breakfast. It's also across the road from a Subway which does $5 footlongs.

The next day I went on a mission to get my ski bag sent back to Townsville by post. I had to fork out $300 in postage but it's a lot better then hauling around 50 pounds (that's right I broke out the empirical measurements) of skis, boots and winter clothes.

Once I got that sorted out I could relax and explore Seattle; home of Boeing, Microsoft, Starbucks, Jimi Hendrix and Nirvana. First we went down to the Space Needle tower and checked out the Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame. I saw Captain Kirk's chair. I was disappointed that I couldn't sit in it and do William Shatner impersonations. It's behind a glass case. It really defeats the point. We then checked out the Experience Music Project which charts a history of American music and is full of hands on exhibits. It was pretty cool.

As nightfall came we brushed up on the Three B's; Basketball, Burlesque and Bitching good times. We went to nearby Key Arena and saw the Seattle Supersonics play the Charlotte Bobcats. We got seats in the nosebleed section but we moved closer after the first quarter when we realised that half the stadium was empty. It was a pretty scrappy game but it got close towards the end. The Bobcats won 98 - 94.

We then went to a little place across the road from the hostel where they were playing a live burlesque show. Form what I understand, the west coast has embraced ye olde burlesque as an art form and now it's considered classy. The place was a restaurant where you could have a sit down meal. The show was also pretty hot.

I thought Seattle was going to be a boring stop on my way down the coast but it seems this place really has quite a lot to do. It seems that off-beat and non-mainstream culture is the mainstream here. There is an anime convention going on at the moment and I've seen tons of people walking through the streets dressed as everything from Jedis to Vulcans.

I hope I don't catch a cold...

...because this powder is sick!

It bucketed snow all day on Easter Sunday so we had some great snow on Monday morning. I stayed in and watched Groundhog Day on TV. I realised while I was watching it that it was a fitting movie to watch during a blizzard.

On Sunday night the hostel put on an turkey dinner for Easter which was possibly the best meal I've had in the last two months. After that I promptly fell asleep.

I woke up at 7:30 on Monday morning and got out as soon as the lifts opened. I got the chance to make fresh tracks on a powder day. I was out all day until 4:30. It was a pretty good day. The next day I was completely stuffed, I didn't go out until 2pm.

I've spent today packing my skis, boots and all my other winter clothing. I'm going to mail them back home so I don't have to lug it all the way down the west coast. Tomorrow I leave for Seattle.

A General Summation

I've been lazy with blogging lately because it doesn't feel like there's been anything much worth blogging about. But I figure I should probably give a general summation of the last few weeks.

Los Angeles: I think I pretty much hate it. I saw the good parts and the bad parts and it wasn't all that. I got a photo outside the Scientology centre. I was trying to do a self photo with my mobile phone and I kept on missing the sign so it took me a few goes. I wasn't being very conspicuous. Fairly soon a guy on a bicycle with "SECURITY" written on the back of his t-shirt shooed me away. To be fair he did it in a polite way and mentioned that all the good sights were at the next train station. That actually turned out to be a lie, it was really two train stations away. I got out at the next train station on Hollywood Boulevard on the walk of fame, but it was a good 2kms from the centre of Hollywood. I think it was a ploy to led me to a Scientology assessment centre. I walked past at least two on my way towards Mann's Chinese Theatre. Both times I had to turn down requests to measure my pheton levels.

I also checked out the Santa Monica area which was quite nice. They had all those little Baywatch towers on the beach but there was no Hoff in sight.

Ultimately I think I'm pissed off at L.A. because the public transport is so crap. It took me at least two hours to get anywhere, and it's not the traffic. I took a cab one night and it took me 20 minutes to travel what would take 3 hours by train or bus. It's for this reason that I believe the movie Speed is a fallacy. I don't think I ever saw a bus reach 50 miles an hour, let alone stay above it.

I was quite glad to be finally heading back to Big White. On the plane back I watched No Country For Old Men, which is absolutely awesome, however the plane landed with 4 minutes of the movie to play. I blame the fucking French for this because Air Canada kept interrupting the movie for each announcement and every time the captain said anything, the air hostess had to translate it into French. So I don't know if the crazy killer dude kills that guy's wife and I have no idea what the hell it's got to do with Tommy Lee Jones.

I was happy when I got back to Big White. It's a lot more relaxing here. When I got back they stuck me in a different room with a couple of guys who actually go to bed before midnight, which is good. The last week of skiing has been excellent and it's been snowing every night. The thing I can't believe is the resort is closing on April 6, no exceptions, but they have tonnes of snow. They have more snow then Perisher would have mid-season. It's nuts.

It's kind of funny because I've got to know a lot of the people here and feels quite homely, but it's all coming to an end as soon as the season ends and every one is making plans to move on. I've got exactly one more week left here before I begin my road trip with Simon down the west coast. We're going Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Los Angeles and the Las Vegas. It should be a pretty epic 3 week journey.

Also, I went tubbing tonight and then I watched LOST, both of which were awesome.

I'm not dead...

...not that you care, becuase no one reads this anyway. If you did you would post comments or you would complain that I haven't updated this blog in 10 days.

Well anyway I've been having an awesome time without any of you fuckers!

You should also learn how to answer your phones.

"What a terrible fucking day"....

...were the first words I heard uttered out of the mouth of story lecturer Robert McKee. He's almost completely like his portrayal by Brian Cox in Adaptation except he has a thick New York accent instead of a British one, and he says "fuck" a lot more. But he's a really awesome lecturer.
Minor thrills included taking a piss at the urineal next to him and having him sign my copy of STORY. I also asked what I thought was an intelligent querstion and he didn't yell at me.

It's been pretty cool to meet so many other people whose goal is also to write for film. On the first day I meet an Australian girl who lives in London named Nadiya. The Australaian accent is a powerful ice breaker amoungst all these crazy Calafornian's. She's been to L.A. several times before so it's cool becuase now I've got someone to show me around town. I've also meet a copule of other people who actually work in the industry as well as a dentist who really wants to write.

The good news is the McKee is coming to Australia in August so I'm thinking I might re-take the seminar then as well because the information is far too much to absorb in one weekend. It's really good stuff.

Fear and Loathing in Los Angeles

I flew into L.A. last night while listening to New Dawn Fades from the Heat soundtrack. It boarded on a religious experience. Today I found out how not to get around L.A. I was given some bad advice and caught the Metro line which basically does an entire circle through L.A. to get to Hollywood when I should have just caught the Santa Monica buses and gone in a straight line. I now know better but that didn't really help me when I found myself completely lost somewhere past 14000 Sunset Blvd on the way to Malibu. I finally found the correct way to get back to my hotel at about 4:30 and got back at about 8:30. So I found out how not to see L.A.

Hollywood was kind of interesting if underwhelming. I expected it to be bigger and grander. Mann's Chinese theatre is actually kind of small, but it's right next to the Kodak Theatre which is a bit more impressive. The thing I found odd is that no matter where you are in L.A. it still kind of feels like a small city - there aren't many high rises. The only clue that it's not is that the suburbs go on forever. It's only when you rise above the city, on the train or on the freeways, do you really get to see how expansive L.A. is. The freeways are actually quite impressive in their magnitude and are as a loud as a jet engine.

I'd have more to say but the Internet is ridiculously expansive where I'm staying and I'm about to run out of time.

Leaving Big White

Today I left the hostel at Big White. I'm staying in Kelowna for the night and then I'm catching a plane to Los Angeles in the morning.

The first thing I did when I got to Kelowna was to eat a $1.50 Whopper from Burger King. There's no junk food on the mountain so I'd been hanging out for it. It just occurred to me that the burger cost me less then what it's costing me to tell you about it, but it was a really good burger.

It's funny that after being at the hostel for just over 2 weeks, it already felt quite homely. I'd made quite a few friends and it's unfortunate that as the ski season is nearing an end, a fair few of them will all be leaving within the next week while I'm gone.

After LA I'll be returning to Big White to ride out the end of the ski season until the end of March. I'll be touring the west coast of the US during early April, heading south from Vancouver and ending up in Los Vegas. Then I'll probably visit New York and head home.

I've thought of squeezing Mexico in there some where because I think that would be pretty cool.

Video Blog!

By popular demand.

Sick powder and other spiffy things

Today I went skiing on some awesome blue runs with Simon, a little English guy from Oxford that I've met here. Things went well until I decided I was tired of standing, and would instead sit down on my skis. It was an excellent stack but in the process I sprained my right thumb. This annoys me because it means I might not be able to take notes when I go to the Robert McKee STORY seminar next week.

I fly to Los Angeles on Tuesday. I've changed my accommodation so that I'm now staying at a location less prone to gang land shootings. I'm staying at the Travel Lodge next to LAX. I'm going to see if I can reenact scenes from Heat while I'm there. I also found out that a Swiss guy I met at the hostel is also going to be in LA at the same time so were going to meet up. I figure we can party at the Viper Room and then take a photo of the corner where River Phoenix died. Los Angeles has a lot of history.

Quintessential Ozzie Travel Blog

Went down to the pub and had a big one for Tomo and Jank-Dog's birthday.

I bought the girls a round of Jagger bombs and we had a good time. On the way back to the hostel Snow Kat went prowling in the snow and Matty and I had to carry her back home.

Shazza became a groupie to rock star Ash.

All ended well.

Skiing Zombies

Big White currently has enough fog to make a good Resident Evil movie. This makes me think that the next logical step for the zombie genre is to make a movie set in a ski resort.

On the other hand it was like a Heath Ledger party in my room last night and as a result I've requested a room change.

I've officially extended my trip by an extra 2 weeks and am now coming back on the 5th of May.

Next week I'm going down to Los Angeles for a week. I had booked accommodation in Venice Beach but I was talking to a girl who said that when she stayed there, five murders occurred in two days. A few other people had also given me looks that read "Are you fucking crazy". As a result I'll be rethinking my accommodation.

First Blood (not quite)

I've been a bit slack with my blog updates lately but the last few days have had some interesting anecdotes.

I didn't do any skiing over the weekend because I was a bit tired and conditions weren't so good. Last night we had some new snow cover and today was awesome. I've been trying to get some photos up but that's proving to be difficult.

I've met an English guy named Simon who I am going to go down to Las Vegas with for 4 days after the ski season is over. We're thinking of staying in the Luxor which is that giant black pyramid you see in all the photos.

Saturday night was pretty interesting. We had a party at the hostel and then went out to Snowshoe Sam's. I'm not sure why we went there because it's usually pretty crap, but I think the guys were just following the Swedish girls.

The pub was packed and there was a bit of a line in the foyer. During this time a 5 foot 6 Canadian guy with a paper Burger King crown was trying to push through the line in front of me. He started to give me cheek when I wouldn't let him through (because he was a wanker). He did however end up pushing through and he got in front our group.

When I got into the bar I noticed the Burger King hanging out by the bar as I passed by. I figured he probably needed to be dethroned, so I tossed his hat off towards the bar and kept walking. A few seconds later my jacket was yanked and I was pulled around to find Burger King looking up at me with his fist charged. I haven't been in a fight since I was 10 so being unfamiliar with bar fighting I didn't think me act of defiance would result in any retaliation. Also the guy was 5 foot 6.

Luckily fisty cuffs were avoided when I raised my fist in his direction and said "Come on mate" in my best bogan accent. Wisely, the dwarf rethought his decision and backed down.

On the other hand, tonight I played pool against a guy from California who I'm pretty sure owned gun.

Spring Break Fin

The wanky English dude who runs this place got me to help him set up a wireless access point for him. I hoped it might get some privileges like free internet access, but instead I keep being blamed anytime something goes wrong with the computers. Next time I'm telling him my going rate is $60 an hour.

On the upside I got to watch LOST last night, however I think it didn't win me any friends with a guy named Kieran who repeatedly complained loudly to change the channel. But to be fair he didn't like Robocop either so he's probably a douche bag.

Recent stats confirm that there are exactly 3 people reading my blog. Apparently my readership is demanding video blogs, which is something I hope to rectify in the near future.

Spring Break has come to a close for the Canadian students. Some of those girls are as dumb as Americans. Especially the blonde ones.

It's called ice and it gets a little slick...

"How can I make my skis go slower?" has been written up as the quote of the day on the hostel blackboard. This has earned me the nickname Nookie, which stands for New Rookie. They already had one guy they called Rookie, he was the guy I bought my season pass from.

My intention for this blog was to write a post per day but the last couple of days haven't been terribly exciting.

A highlight occurred when I was at the pub with a couple of kiwi girls and as pair of middle aged Canadian dudes struck up a conversation. At some point we started talking about the Canadian Prairies which are in the central part of Canada. To this I exclaimed "Just like Little House on the Prairie!"

This caused one of the guys to declare me a "jackass" and walk away while the other guy pressed his luck with the Kiwi birds. That made my day.

Spring Break comes to town

A group of 50 girls from Victoria University checked into the hostel last night. That's Victoria as in Victoria Island, but most people call it Vancouver Island. They're on the Canadian equivalent of Spring Break except they call it Reading Week. Apparently not a lot of reading is done in that time.

So the place is no longer dominated by Australian's but sometimes it's like I haven't left home. They stream TripleJ and play it over the stereo in the kitchen.

The weather is really good at the moment. It was 9C today which is pretty warm for a ski field. I don't know how long the ski season will last if this weather keeps up.

I'm finding it hard to get used to my new skis because they're a bit longer (and therefore faster) than I'm used to. I went to the ski repair store today and asked them if there is a way to make my skiers slower and they just laughed at me.

It's true what they say about Swedish backpackers...

My first night at the hostel in Big White I woke up to the piercing sound of a fire alarm at 1:30 in the morning. I stumbled in the dark and half fell off the top bunk of my bed. Not wanting to be another Childers style victim, I and several others hauled our arses into the freezing cold. Eventually the fire truck rolled up form the fire station 300 metres down the road. We were told that it was a false alarm set off by some guy smoking in his room in the lodges that adjoin the building. The alarm stopped and we all went back to bed.

I bought a season ski pass off a guy who's leaving today for $150 which is pretty good value since a day pass costs about $60. So for the next 3 weeks my name is Lauchlin McGonigal.

I did some skiing and realised that I'm unfit. My thighs are killing me.

Last night there was a big party for a group of Swedish guys and girls who are leaving here today. They had been here 3 months so it was kind of a big deal.

It's true what they say about Swedish backpackers. The Swedish girls are kind of hot. The Swedish guys are kind of crazy.

We started the night in the hostel's kitchen and then eventually the group moved out to Snowshoe Sam's, the local watering hole. Snowshoe Sam's is exactly like the Mad Cow except half the people are from Melbourne and there are no AJ's. The dance floor is also a little bigger. I had a few drinks of Canadian Club and Cola.

At about 1am the place closed. I went back to the hostel, drunk dialed a few people and then went to bed.

Big White

Today I moved into the hostel up at Big White. Pretty much everyone here is Australian.

I went skiing for the first time since I started my trip. I was a little rusty but I was going okay for a while. Then I got lost and caught the wrong chair lift. I ended up going down a black run area and when I realised this I tried to traverse over to the green run. This resulted in me getting in knee deep snow. I tried to ski it slowly a couple of times but after a few stacks I gave up and used my arse as a toboggan for about 2kms until I got to easier terrain.

I checked in after I finished skiing and met my roommates who had all decided to go down to Kelowna for 2 days so I've got the room to myself, which is good.

I met a few of the people staying here over dinner and I ruined a game of Trivial Pursuit in the process.

Nothing Intresting Happned Today

Today I completly slept in and missed the bus to Big White (by about 3 hours) so I still haven't done any skiing yet. That should change tommorrow as I will be staying up in the mountain from now on.

So I spent my day doing some more wandering around town and shopping for varrious ski apparel. I had lunch at Taco Bell. I did not like it very much.

I hijacked the TV room to watch LOST. Over here they play last week's episode beforehand with a written commentary explaining everything that happens so stupid Americans can understand it. It would probably help most of the rest of the world too.

I need your skis, your boots and your motorcycle.

Today I arrived in Kelowna. I had booked a bus trip that went overnight, my thinking being that I'd save on a night of accommodation, but that really didn't work out as I ended up booking another night in Vancouver so I could sleep during the afternoon.

During my wait at the bus station I was asked for money by three different homeless people. I gave them a few energy bars and some lose change. I asked the security guard why there are so many homeless people in Vancouver. He said that they wanted to be homeless.

In all fairness Vancouver is a pretty cool city, it's just that all of that is tainted by a massive social issue that it seems to be ignoring.

When my bus finally arrived at midnight I attempted to have several sessions of interrupted sleep. Occasionally I'd wake up as the entire bus shuddered and groaned. I realised this was the sound of the bus losing control on the ice. During these times I took the opportunity to look out at the night scenery which resembled something from a Stephen King novel.

Kelowna (pronounced Key-low-nah) is the type of place you'd expect to see a Cohen Brother's film set. It's a completely flat city surrounded by hills with a population of about 100,000. Every second person drives a pickup truck. Basically it's what Townsville would look like if it were within missile range of the Arctic circle.

When I arrived in Kelowna I began my mission to find myself all the necessary ski equipment I would require for my skiing adventures. I got some good deals on my skis, boots and jackets etc as all the stores are currently having a "Spring Sale".

I also bought a really good pair of socks. Good socks are very important. They're called Kodiak Mountaineer socks. They're made from real Kodiak Bears, so you know they're good.

Vancouver: City of Dreams

Today I caught a sight seeing bus tour of Vancouver. It was mostly a waste of time since it was raining and I couldn't sit on the the open top part of the bus. As a result I didn't really see much. But I did get to see a steam powered clock which was neat. I also stopped at the theatre where Bryan Adams played his first gig.

The original theatre burnt down but when they rebuilt it they erected a memorial to Bryan Adams' career. I asked one of the other passengers to take a photo of me but then a homeless guy asked me for money. I gave him a couple of quarters and some penny's. I think it was Bryan Adams.

I ended up mostly taking photos of homeless people since the city doesn't appear to have any real sights and I've never really seen this many homeless people before. I saw one guy carrying all his possessions in a supermarket trolley and a woman sleeping under a bridge. It's like a Bruce Springsteen video clip.

Vancouver City Limits: Part 2

Today I was propositioned by a prostitute for the first time. I said no but it was nice that she asked. I think she was homeless.

Vancouver has a lot of homless people. It's kind of a big problem, so the city built a really big park that they could all sleep in. It's called Stanely Park. It's one of the world's biggest inner city parks, but not as big as Central Park in New York. New York has more homless people.

The people in Vancouver all have really nice haircuts. A homeless guy asked me for change and I thought "nice haircut". I'm not sure where they get their hair cut but they must be good.

Vancouver is a very multi-cultural city. There are a lot of Asians. For some reason all the Asian men in Vancouver dress like gay stereotypes. Even the straight ones.

I was in a food court today and everyone around me was Asian except for the girl next to me who I think was a Chi-negro. All the food stalls were run by Asian people except for the Chinese food store. That was run by a white dude wearing a trucker's hat.

I went to the Vancouver Public Library. That library has got it going on. The architecture of the place is pretty amazing. It's a big cylinder. I wandered around until I eventually picked up Tom Arnold's autobiography in the parapsychology section (?). The dust jacket said his upcoming projects include Cradle 2 The Grave and True Lies 2. Over the loud speaker it was announced that the library would close soon and I promptly left.

Vancouver City Limits

I took a shit after I checked into my hotel in Vancouver today. I fretted for a moment that I might be in some sort of existential Truman Show like situation when I flushed the toilet and the water rotated clock-wise. Subsequent flushes have all rotated anti-clockwise.

I know what I saw but I can't explain it.

Jet lag messed me up more then usual. I think it has more to do with the fact that I only had 8 hours sleep in the 3 days leading up to my flight. I finally finished packing and moved out of my house at 3:30am on Sunday. My plane left at 6:20am.

The flight over was pretty good but I'm slightly disappointed that I didn't crash land on the island (WARNING: Lost neediness follows). I really like that show.

It's good to finally be here (and other generic platitudes) as I was so busy in the week before I left. I'm sorry if I didn't get around to saying goodbye. It's probably because I don't like you very much.

The stop in Auckland was pretty choice. The international airport has a bar, a Burger King and a toilet within 20 metres of each other. It helped me pass the time. I just found out that the clock on my phone is 3 hours slow.

I was sure I set it when I arrived but it turns out it's 1am. That probably explains why everything closed so damn early.