Sick powder and other spiffy things

Today I went skiing on some awesome blue runs with Simon, a little English guy from Oxford that I've met here. Things went well until I decided I was tired of standing, and would instead sit down on my skis. It was an excellent stack but in the process I sprained my right thumb. This annoys me because it means I might not be able to take notes when I go to the Robert McKee STORY seminar next week.

I fly to Los Angeles on Tuesday. I've changed my accommodation so that I'm now staying at a location less prone to gang land shootings. I'm staying at the Travel Lodge next to LAX. I'm going to see if I can reenact scenes from Heat while I'm there. I also found out that a Swiss guy I met at the hostel is also going to be in LA at the same time so were going to meet up. I figure we can party at the Viper Room and then take a photo of the corner where River Phoenix died. Los Angeles has a lot of history.

Quintessential Ozzie Travel Blog

Went down to the pub and had a big one for Tomo and Jank-Dog's birthday.

I bought the girls a round of Jagger bombs and we had a good time. On the way back to the hostel Snow Kat went prowling in the snow and Matty and I had to carry her back home.

Shazza became a groupie to rock star Ash.

All ended well.

Skiing Zombies

Big White currently has enough fog to make a good Resident Evil movie. This makes me think that the next logical step for the zombie genre is to make a movie set in a ski resort.

On the other hand it was like a Heath Ledger party in my room last night and as a result I've requested a room change.

I've officially extended my trip by an extra 2 weeks and am now coming back on the 5th of May.

Next week I'm going down to Los Angeles for a week. I had booked accommodation in Venice Beach but I was talking to a girl who said that when she stayed there, five murders occurred in two days. A few other people had also given me looks that read "Are you fucking crazy". As a result I'll be rethinking my accommodation.

First Blood (not quite)

I've been a bit slack with my blog updates lately but the last few days have had some interesting anecdotes.

I didn't do any skiing over the weekend because I was a bit tired and conditions weren't so good. Last night we had some new snow cover and today was awesome. I've been trying to get some photos up but that's proving to be difficult.

I've met an English guy named Simon who I am going to go down to Las Vegas with for 4 days after the ski season is over. We're thinking of staying in the Luxor which is that giant black pyramid you see in all the photos.

Saturday night was pretty interesting. We had a party at the hostel and then went out to Snowshoe Sam's. I'm not sure why we went there because it's usually pretty crap, but I think the guys were just following the Swedish girls.

The pub was packed and there was a bit of a line in the foyer. During this time a 5 foot 6 Canadian guy with a paper Burger King crown was trying to push through the line in front of me. He started to give me cheek when I wouldn't let him through (because he was a wanker). He did however end up pushing through and he got in front our group.

When I got into the bar I noticed the Burger King hanging out by the bar as I passed by. I figured he probably needed to be dethroned, so I tossed his hat off towards the bar and kept walking. A few seconds later my jacket was yanked and I was pulled around to find Burger King looking up at me with his fist charged. I haven't been in a fight since I was 10 so being unfamiliar with bar fighting I didn't think me act of defiance would result in any retaliation. Also the guy was 5 foot 6.

Luckily fisty cuffs were avoided when I raised my fist in his direction and said "Come on mate" in my best bogan accent. Wisely, the dwarf rethought his decision and backed down.

On the other hand, tonight I played pool against a guy from California who I'm pretty sure owned gun.

Spring Break Fin

The wanky English dude who runs this place got me to help him set up a wireless access point for him. I hoped it might get some privileges like free internet access, but instead I keep being blamed anytime something goes wrong with the computers. Next time I'm telling him my going rate is $60 an hour.

On the upside I got to watch LOST last night, however I think it didn't win me any friends with a guy named Kieran who repeatedly complained loudly to change the channel. But to be fair he didn't like Robocop either so he's probably a douche bag.

Recent stats confirm that there are exactly 3 people reading my blog. Apparently my readership is demanding video blogs, which is something I hope to rectify in the near future.

Spring Break has come to a close for the Canadian students. Some of those girls are as dumb as Americans. Especially the blonde ones.

It's called ice and it gets a little slick...

"How can I make my skis go slower?" has been written up as the quote of the day on the hostel blackboard. This has earned me the nickname Nookie, which stands for New Rookie. They already had one guy they called Rookie, he was the guy I bought my season pass from.

My intention for this blog was to write a post per day but the last couple of days haven't been terribly exciting.

A highlight occurred when I was at the pub with a couple of kiwi girls and as pair of middle aged Canadian dudes struck up a conversation. At some point we started talking about the Canadian Prairies which are in the central part of Canada. To this I exclaimed "Just like Little House on the Prairie!"

This caused one of the guys to declare me a "jackass" and walk away while the other guy pressed his luck with the Kiwi birds. That made my day.

Spring Break comes to town

A group of 50 girls from Victoria University checked into the hostel last night. That's Victoria as in Victoria Island, but most people call it Vancouver Island. They're on the Canadian equivalent of Spring Break except they call it Reading Week. Apparently not a lot of reading is done in that time.

So the place is no longer dominated by Australian's but sometimes it's like I haven't left home. They stream TripleJ and play it over the stereo in the kitchen.

The weather is really good at the moment. It was 9C today which is pretty warm for a ski field. I don't know how long the ski season will last if this weather keeps up.

I'm finding it hard to get used to my new skis because they're a bit longer (and therefore faster) than I'm used to. I went to the ski repair store today and asked them if there is a way to make my skiers slower and they just laughed at me.

It's true what they say about Swedish backpackers...

My first night at the hostel in Big White I woke up to the piercing sound of a fire alarm at 1:30 in the morning. I stumbled in the dark and half fell off the top bunk of my bed. Not wanting to be another Childers style victim, I and several others hauled our arses into the freezing cold. Eventually the fire truck rolled up form the fire station 300 metres down the road. We were told that it was a false alarm set off by some guy smoking in his room in the lodges that adjoin the building. The alarm stopped and we all went back to bed.

I bought a season ski pass off a guy who's leaving today for $150 which is pretty good value since a day pass costs about $60. So for the next 3 weeks my name is Lauchlin McGonigal.

I did some skiing and realised that I'm unfit. My thighs are killing me.

Last night there was a big party for a group of Swedish guys and girls who are leaving here today. They had been here 3 months so it was kind of a big deal.

It's true what they say about Swedish backpackers. The Swedish girls are kind of hot. The Swedish guys are kind of crazy.

We started the night in the hostel's kitchen and then eventually the group moved out to Snowshoe Sam's, the local watering hole. Snowshoe Sam's is exactly like the Mad Cow except half the people are from Melbourne and there are no AJ's. The dance floor is also a little bigger. I had a few drinks of Canadian Club and Cola.

At about 1am the place closed. I went back to the hostel, drunk dialed a few people and then went to bed.

Big White

Today I moved into the hostel up at Big White. Pretty much everyone here is Australian.

I went skiing for the first time since I started my trip. I was a little rusty but I was going okay for a while. Then I got lost and caught the wrong chair lift. I ended up going down a black run area and when I realised this I tried to traverse over to the green run. This resulted in me getting in knee deep snow. I tried to ski it slowly a couple of times but after a few stacks I gave up and used my arse as a toboggan for about 2kms until I got to easier terrain.

I checked in after I finished skiing and met my roommates who had all decided to go down to Kelowna for 2 days so I've got the room to myself, which is good.

I met a few of the people staying here over dinner and I ruined a game of Trivial Pursuit in the process.

Nothing Intresting Happned Today

Today I completly slept in and missed the bus to Big White (by about 3 hours) so I still haven't done any skiing yet. That should change tommorrow as I will be staying up in the mountain from now on.

So I spent my day doing some more wandering around town and shopping for varrious ski apparel. I had lunch at Taco Bell. I did not like it very much.

I hijacked the TV room to watch LOST. Over here they play last week's episode beforehand with a written commentary explaining everything that happens so stupid Americans can understand it. It would probably help most of the rest of the world too.

I need your skis, your boots and your motorcycle.

Today I arrived in Kelowna. I had booked a bus trip that went overnight, my thinking being that I'd save on a night of accommodation, but that really didn't work out as I ended up booking another night in Vancouver so I could sleep during the afternoon.

During my wait at the bus station I was asked for money by three different homeless people. I gave them a few energy bars and some lose change. I asked the security guard why there are so many homeless people in Vancouver. He said that they wanted to be homeless.

In all fairness Vancouver is a pretty cool city, it's just that all of that is tainted by a massive social issue that it seems to be ignoring.

When my bus finally arrived at midnight I attempted to have several sessions of interrupted sleep. Occasionally I'd wake up as the entire bus shuddered and groaned. I realised this was the sound of the bus losing control on the ice. During these times I took the opportunity to look out at the night scenery which resembled something from a Stephen King novel.

Kelowna (pronounced Key-low-nah) is the type of place you'd expect to see a Cohen Brother's film set. It's a completely flat city surrounded by hills with a population of about 100,000. Every second person drives a pickup truck. Basically it's what Townsville would look like if it were within missile range of the Arctic circle.

When I arrived in Kelowna I began my mission to find myself all the necessary ski equipment I would require for my skiing adventures. I got some good deals on my skis, boots and jackets etc as all the stores are currently having a "Spring Sale".

I also bought a really good pair of socks. Good socks are very important. They're called Kodiak Mountaineer socks. They're made from real Kodiak Bears, so you know they're good.

Vancouver: City of Dreams

Today I caught a sight seeing bus tour of Vancouver. It was mostly a waste of time since it was raining and I couldn't sit on the the open top part of the bus. As a result I didn't really see much. But I did get to see a steam powered clock which was neat. I also stopped at the theatre where Bryan Adams played his first gig.

The original theatre burnt down but when they rebuilt it they erected a memorial to Bryan Adams' career. I asked one of the other passengers to take a photo of me but then a homeless guy asked me for money. I gave him a couple of quarters and some penny's. I think it was Bryan Adams.

I ended up mostly taking photos of homeless people since the city doesn't appear to have any real sights and I've never really seen this many homeless people before. I saw one guy carrying all his possessions in a supermarket trolley and a woman sleeping under a bridge. It's like a Bruce Springsteen video clip.

Vancouver City Limits: Part 2

Today I was propositioned by a prostitute for the first time. I said no but it was nice that she asked. I think she was homeless.

Vancouver has a lot of homless people. It's kind of a big problem, so the city built a really big park that they could all sleep in. It's called Stanely Park. It's one of the world's biggest inner city parks, but not as big as Central Park in New York. New York has more homless people.

The people in Vancouver all have really nice haircuts. A homeless guy asked me for change and I thought "nice haircut". I'm not sure where they get their hair cut but they must be good.

Vancouver is a very multi-cultural city. There are a lot of Asians. For some reason all the Asian men in Vancouver dress like gay stereotypes. Even the straight ones.

I was in a food court today and everyone around me was Asian except for the girl next to me who I think was a Chi-negro. All the food stalls were run by Asian people except for the Chinese food store. That was run by a white dude wearing a trucker's hat.

I went to the Vancouver Public Library. That library has got it going on. The architecture of the place is pretty amazing. It's a big cylinder. I wandered around until I eventually picked up Tom Arnold's autobiography in the parapsychology section (?). The dust jacket said his upcoming projects include Cradle 2 The Grave and True Lies 2. Over the loud speaker it was announced that the library would close soon and I promptly left.

Vancouver City Limits

I took a shit after I checked into my hotel in Vancouver today. I fretted for a moment that I might be in some sort of existential Truman Show like situation when I flushed the toilet and the water rotated clock-wise. Subsequent flushes have all rotated anti-clockwise.

I know what I saw but I can't explain it.

Jet lag messed me up more then usual. I think it has more to do with the fact that I only had 8 hours sleep in the 3 days leading up to my flight. I finally finished packing and moved out of my house at 3:30am on Sunday. My plane left at 6:20am.

The flight over was pretty good but I'm slightly disappointed that I didn't crash land on the island (WARNING: Lost neediness follows). I really like that show.

It's good to finally be here (and other generic platitudes) as I was so busy in the week before I left. I'm sorry if I didn't get around to saying goodbye. It's probably because I don't like you very much.

The stop in Auckland was pretty choice. The international airport has a bar, a Burger King and a toilet within 20 metres of each other. It helped me pass the time. I just found out that the clock on my phone is 3 hours slow.

I was sure I set it when I arrived but it turns out it's 1am. That probably explains why everything closed so damn early.